Finally snapped out of it...mostly.

So a lot has been happening lately. I just realized I haven't posted in 10 days and that's a little pathetic. I'm not using my computer so when I go through my daily sites I forget to check the blogs. Yakob came and visited and that was really fun. Did the usual-Sega, food, laughs. Good times.
Then Errin and Michelle spent a couple of days here on their way to some MN drum corps shows with Kilties and we had 2 LATE and WONDERFUL nights. Excuse my pop-culture teen-bobby terminology but...O.M.G. It was SOOOO RAD. Ha. We got crazy like we used to, probably even more so because since we're all so old none of us party anymore and so you know how usually there are a couple people who go all out, and the rest enjoy themselves but aren't "all out"? This was ALL of us, ALL out. Tot sweet. Lauren was here too on her way through to Tim and Christine's wedding, which was Sat. 8/22 and very lovely. I wish we could have talked more because I've been feeling a strain on a lot of my friendships since the job hunt began. It's been hard to watch people get to move on in their lives, a lot of them, and be stuck in my own life. It puts a wierd awkwardness in the air and I don't like it.
So then after all that fun it was like reality hit me. I'm 24, no job, moving to Madison very soon, little money, estranged friends, and I had a really bad chest cold. So I went and drank with Collin for a little bit, after fighting with Becky. Then drove around aimlessly until I decided to visit Ang at Culver's. Drove around aimlessly again and broke down crying then called Mary Neff, which is a whole other blog entry. Finally went over to the trumpet house and participated in "Whiskey Week" and made fun of Andy Bader's little brother who is a prick. I ended the night with Chris at Becky's apt. playing sega and watching intervention, which was actually a blessing. I ended the night feeling ok, versus feeling the closest I've ever felt to depressed in my life.
Ever since I woke up the next morning I've felt good. I feel positive and I'm rushing this because Becky just called for a ride. I'm excited to move. I've been keeping busy with working and feel less quilty about debt. I give up sort of. At the same time I'm motivated to kick some major ass in my life, starting with promoting myself in Madison as much as possible. I'm proud of who I am and I'm going to get my name out. "Whore myself around" as an educator and musician, if you will.
Eek. Gotta go. I will try to post more frequently.

I suck at blogging

I used to be so good! Back in the day I updated my xanga more than anyone else, almost every day and wrote about some funny stuff. Now I suck. AS Liz would say, "We had a much more careless lifestyle". :)
I think I'm moving to Madison with Liz. I felt like extremely embarrassed, but her acceptance of her Madison job offer caused me to find my rock bottom. At least, I hope that was my bottom. I was bawlin' and kinda hyperventilating. It's just soooooooooo hard. *beating a dead horse* I've been applying since February! So Madison is at least a new, more exciting town that I LOVE and hopefully I can sub enough to furnish a respectable adult home, as per Liz requirement. I want to lose weight and get on track with the things I can control. Moving to Madison is sort of a blessing in disguise because I will be happier than in EC even if I'm doing the same things because of the change in environment and general feeling of big change. I've done the Chippewa Valley subbing crap and don't want to be a townie with no job. At the same time, I feel like I'll never be happy enough in Madison either knowing it's my plan B and I never found a job. It's not my fault, but a lot of days it feels that way and probably will all next year.
Becky just tripped in the shower. I hope her hair turns purple. Liz just dyed it and I would just DYE if it turned purple like the gloves in the sick. Can't wait, gonna be great. Best $2.97 ever spent.
Ho humm....I'm supposed to be at work, but thankfully Megan is covering me and I'll grab her shift on Wednesday. I've got the killer cough from hell. Did I swallow nails in my sleep??? I had a dream that I had a cough and woke up feeling like crap. I mentioned it to Liz and we exchanged yeah my throat kinda hurts, blah blah, then as soon as she lefts I coughed for the first time and it was murder!! I shot up and caught my breath asap and then wiped away all my tears and rubbed my shoulder that I wrenched all over and must have looked like Liz in Yakob's phone videos (*shocked*). I went to the clinic and they prescribed a bunch of meds, including some cough syrup with codeine (gross) so hopefully I'll kick it quick. This is NOT a good time to be sick at all! Anyways, time to rest up and see what hue hath taken over Rebecca's hair.

It's hard to not be bitter.

This job stuff is all I write about and I apologize for that. I've applied for over 25 jobs and each time my motivation is smaller because I am bitter than I am even still doing it. The only reason that I do is because I LIVE to teach. It is something that makes me happy. Teaching at Memorial this past few weeks I feel on cloud nine then I come home and remember that part of my email-checking routine includes checking every job site known to man and generally finding nothing.
I hesitant to post all of this because I feel guilty about the way that I feel, but yesterday... I find out through facebook that Anne and Andrew both got interviews in Barron. It's a full-time HS Band position 45 minutes from my parents and essentially feels like my last hope. Now, they are both GREAT people and good friends of mine, but are they really more deserving of an interview? I've revised my letters/resume millions of times, people have read them, I have gotten 2 interviews...This is extreme possibly, but--Is it because I'm not married??? It doesn't appear that I will settle down there?? Everywhere else won't take me because I don't have experience, but I'll never get it because schools know that I won't be staying long. I'm stuck.
I just went downstairs and rehashed all of this with Lindsay Bertz who dropped off my check from when I taught summer school at locust lane for her. I hate saying the same things over and over to people, but especially people like her need to realize how lucky they are! She has a full-time, non-traveling teaching position in EAU CLAIRE! That's much different than my situation. She's a good listener so I just kept going on and on. Kind of like I did with Brian Hilson at Morgan music today. :)

Time to head to Menomonie and give Scott the tenor I found for him. Reeds and mouthpieces are SOOO overpriced in EC that it's ridic and mom's just going to have to order online. They are literally twice the online price!! what the heck? Some much needed TLC from mom then back early enough to finish my Middleton application before bed. Two more days of Memorial then back to my depressing, non-education filled life.

Seriously, no comment?

How could a blog commencing as my previous entry receive no comment?
I need to write more later, but for now I'm checking jobs, napping, and I have to work at 6pm. I should be able to squeeze an entry in before or after work...

Don't do acid.

Holy crap. This chick came into Holiday tonight screamin' that she needed to go to the hospital and that she was just freaking out. Something about her schizo dad and she had purple hair with dye all over her hands. She kept saying, "oh my god oh my god" and swearing and pulling and twisting at her hair. SERIOUSLY having a bad trip so I just called the cops they came and then when her dad got there I was like, "oooooooh" because he is this huge greasy guy who used to come into Dollar Tree with her and some other girl (lesbians??) and they are totally gross/messed up. She was definately on something and the worst I've seen anyone ever freaking out. She kept hyperventillating and I tried offering her a paper bag and water and that just pissed her off. Maybe next time they come in with piss-drenched bills or pay in all change I'll get stabbed or something....oofda.

So what I meant to start off with was an update on my past week in Chicago. It was extremely hard trying to visit Joe and Stephanie and SAI convention at the same time. SAI was a neat experience, but one that I wish I had more sleep and money for. Singing the chorale with almost 900 people and seeing the new initiation ceremony performed by the NEB were definitely highlights of the convention. Also, Becky and I bought some cool things at Phlea Phlam. It's basically 2 huge tents full of chapter fundraisers and we totally should participated. One chapter raised over $700 and donated it to SAI Philanthropies, which is really cool. Another thing that I took away from the experience, besides a SAI fanny pack and lots of pamphlets, was that our girls NEED to be applying for these scholarships and grants. Some of the performance grants were given to people that girls from our chapter could have blown out of the water (think jazz). I think when I am applying for grad schools I'll look into the conducting graduate scholarship. There are so many music education grants that a school like UWEC should be applying for every year. It was also cool to see the NEB live and see hunched over old ladies in roses and red, who have likely gone to many conventions. At one session they had people stand then sit down after they said a certain amount of years...ladies with over 60 years in SAI! One had been in it for 67 years and when you think about the fact that she was initiated in college it reminds you how many women really do live SAI forever.
Joe's kids are really cute and holding a baby is one of my favorite things in the world! I am always amazed at how calm Stephanie is and so comfortable to be around, considering we never marched with her and didn't get to know her until last summer really. Like I said, it was hard to concentrate on both the convention and catching up with the Rodriguez family at the same time. Each thing made me more tired for the next! But all in all, a good trip. The only trip for the Soules sisters this summer. We spent a good amount of money, but who cares. I got a nice SAI bag and hand-painted platters with the SAI motto on them "Vita Brevis, Ars Longa" (Life is short, but art is long). PLUS, LOTS of food.
I've been teaching at Memorial this week and will be again next week. It feels really good to be back and, along with the trip to chicago, has served as a pretty good distraction from the job hunt. It feels like when you've been gone for a long time and get to come home and in a way that's not good because I need to realize that I don't teach there. I don't teach anywhere right now. Collin is teaching too, which makes me happy. He deserves a school to help out with to keep music in his life outside of school bus driving and Panera bread. So far things are WAY better than last year and I'm eager to see their show. They are moving more, playing better music, and much more disciplined in rehearsal. It's a shame I can't stay with them (unless I don't get a job). And...I'm getting paid (well)!!
I should get to bed because I have to get up early to teach again, but if I think of more things from the trip I'll write again. Otherwise, wish me well on the job front and have a wonderful day!