So I know I went off of more than one major tangent the other day, but will write a much more positive (and informative) post. Monday I interviewed and they told me that they would let me know by the following Monday. Thank god it didn't take that long. I know they had at least one more interview on Tuesday morning, but by that afternoon I had a text from Dasher saying that he had gotten a reference call and gave me a "glowing reference" (love him) and that he thought that I would get the job. I also had a page to call a 608 number, which when I called was the assistant principal. She pretty much said, "Oh yeah, we'd like to offer you the position" and that was it. I accepted right away, but was trying to sort of ask, "what now?". The only answer I got from her was to ask HR and HR just said they'd mail me a packet about everything so...Also they originally entered my start date as Dec. 2nd, but since I am already a district employee and subbing there every day they realized that wasn't fair so it was bumped up immediately to today (Thursday). I have no idea what's going on in terms of benefits, contracts, computer log-in info, phone number, etc. But whatever I need will come so I'm not stressed at all. I got a key to my room from Cindy, the other music teacher, so that's all I really need at this point. I log into the computer as a sub still so I have internet...
Things haven't changed too much yet in terms of the material I'm teaching. I started out not knowing if I was permanent so I was doing generic sub plans and with the way elementary works I just kept doing them through the week so that every class did the same thing. Next week is a short week so I guess I'll just do something Thanksgiving stuff. The following week I really want to start over. I need to learn names, establish rules, and maintain some routines. Lucky for me, most kids are just so excited to have a real music teacher that they already really like me, especially the Hispanic kids. They really took a liking fast and that's surprising considering I don't speak Spanish.
Leopold has a similar socio-economic breakdown to Falk, but it is much larger (about 680 students as opposed to most schools being 300 or so) and has a lower percentage of black students. I think in general it's about 30% white 30% black 30% hispanic and 10% asain. There are whole classes in each grade level that are taught only in Spanish, except for art, music, and phy ed. Interesting. I have a list of common phrases ("sit down") and I'm going to learn as fast as I can. I am already finding myself trying to use it wherever I can. It's cute. And though there is a language barrier, the students are very respectful. In the other classes it can be really hit or miss. It's no worse than Falk and from what time I spent there, it actually seems a little better. My Thursday/Friday classes are notably more difficult (sorry, but also notably more black).
Like I said, the kids are generally all very excited to have me there. One girl said she didn't like me because I called her bluff on her spot on the seating chart, but whatever. Her anger can't be my problem all the time. Lots of kids light up when they come to the door and say things like, "yes!! you're here!" and "Mrs. so and so, I love our music teacher!". It feels SOO good and makes me feel reassured about teaching elementary for the year. I am not planning on teaching here past the year, but there is a lot I can take from it and a lot of fun to be had!
Tomorrow, and possibly over the weekend, I get to spend lots of time making my room MY room and I am in desperate need of some posters. It's hard not to want to do everything Liz's way, but she's so confident and convincing (like I am with band) so I trust that her ideas are solid ideas. I want to start from scratch with kodaly with them, but don't want to make the other teacher feel awkward because she doesn't really address solfege and stuff. So I'd like to throw some hand signs up, some motivational/musical posters, some expectations, etc. But it's going to take some time to put everything together, especially because my handwriting sucks and I'll need to do a lot of print, cut, paste.
So anyways, there's a lot to do, but like I said, I don't feel stressed at all. My head feels more clear than it has in a long time. All of the other teachers have been really nice and coming down just to introduce themselves and so I know I have lots of people to go to, especially if the school isn't going to really give me any directions. It's nice because there aren't sky-high expectations, but there is a lot of excitement to have the position filled so I feel almost like a local celebrity at school (2 months open after 2 years of long-term subs?). One kid who guess that I played tuba because "tuba rocks" said after one day that I'm the best music teacher he ever had. Two reactions to that: SAD and SWEET. Glad to have it a little easy in terms of earning their trust, but disheartened to hear that their school has had a history with not fulfilling their end of the music education portion. Imagine if he had Liz for a day.
I'll write more soon I'm sure, now that I have things to update about...
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
More later.
After I got a year's worth of frustration and depression (ie. PMS) out yesterday I had a great day. Teachin' bum bum bah...then at the end of the day-the call. I am now the music teacher at Aldo Leopold Elementary school in Madison. I even called Dr. Murphy...
Details later.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Must be PMS
I have cried so much today. Stuff at home, plus I hear that Ellen Melcher isn't doing so well.
I'm sitting here trying to distract myself, or motivate myself to work out or something. Liz was plunking songs out at the piano and now listening to the CD of her concert song "Through the eyes of a child" and I am just overly emotional. It's taking me everything to not walk out and make her stop. But I know it's a beautiful thing. I want to be excited about my concerts. I want to program beautiful music. I want to change kids lives...so I keep crying. It's bittersweet. I'm happy to see her so excited, especially after the rough start to the year. But I'm jealous. Not in a mean way, but my heart is breaking a little. She keeps yelling to come in and sing with her and has no idea I'm not saying no because I'm lazy, but because it hurts.
I'm sitting here trying to distract myself, or motivate myself to work out or something. Liz was plunking songs out at the piano and now listening to the CD of her concert song "Through the eyes of a child" and I am just overly emotional. It's taking me everything to not walk out and make her stop. But I know it's a beautiful thing. I want to be excited about my concerts. I want to program beautiful music. I want to change kids lives...so I keep crying. It's bittersweet. I'm happy to see her so excited, especially after the rough start to the year. But I'm jealous. Not in a mean way, but my heart is breaking a little. She keeps yelling to come in and sing with her and has no idea I'm not saying no because I'm lazy, but because it hurts.
Frustrated?
I don't know why, but since I left my interview this morning I've felt really frustrated. Well, actually since we watched "The Ugly Truth" last night. First off, the movie. It's a chick flick and apparently Gerard Butler or whatever is the new Mathew Mcconaughey or something where the guy is total ass the whole time and doesn't believe in love, blah blah. Then the lovable prude wins his heart. Fucking A. Alright. I love ALL chick flicks and this was not a bad movie. There were a lot of funny parts, but I felt like the whole time the movie was mocking me. Like...oh haha it's hard for beautiful rich people to fall in love and men only care about sex and hot girls and haha isn't that great? It's shitty that this movie on one hand is totally based off of something that is not reality(everyone's is beautiful and well-spoken) AND on the other hand it's shitty that it may actually be THE UGLY TRUTH that even less fortunate people's relationships do follow these formulas. Guys want tits 'n ass, girls decides to get better bra and wins date? Drop 50 lbs and I wouldn't be single? Frustrating, but probably TRUE. I like Katherine Heigel, but...I just felt pretty pissed off last night as I was trying to fall asleep. Like, how does anyone in this F-ing world stand a chance.
SECOND. Education. I worked my damn ASS off (actually it's still there, adding extra frustration from my first point) to be one of the best frickin band directors that I could be. I love it. I live for it. And I'm extremely disappointed that I can't be on the path I deserve to be on. Just typing that made tears pop out of eyes so fast that they hit the screen. I'm pissed. I'm really really pissed. I'm reflective and so a lot of times I try to reason with things. Everything happens for a reason, maybe I could work on this instead, it'll happen soon, etc. But when it comes down to it, I'm just plain old fucking mad. Why does the economy have to blow right now? Why do I have to care so much? Why can't I put my knowledge and passion to good use. My interview went pretty good, but I JUST DON'T KNOW! I'm so fucking sick of that. I feel really screwed either way. They aren't going to tell me until Monday. Thanks. Then your kids will have had 2 months without music essentially. I don't want to have to feel guilty for not being what they want. I want to teach BAND. A good band program. I deserve that. Again I am REALLY PISSED OFF. I've spent all summer and fall "trying to make the best of it" and it's just not FAIR. I guess that's the "ugly truth" about the world of education. The people who give a shit are far and few in between and aren't in any position to help.
You know, you try to take control of the situation and make progress towards your goals either way (subbing, moving to madison, interviewing for Leopold), but it doesn't fill the MAJOR void. I have been distracted more since starting to sub so much that I buried some of these feelings back down and as I drove home from school I just felt everything boiling back up. I just hate having to wonder "why me?" about so many things in my life. Money, love, weight, and the one thing that I REALLY work to control-my success as an educator. F-U world. I hope you young music major are prepared for this shit. Because if it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone. I didn't expect to land the dream job upon graduation, but I worked hard to at least be an outstanding candidate for all band jobs and should be in one of those positions. NOT subbing. Not teaching elementary music, though if it is where this shithole luck leads me then I will do the very best that I can do (which is frickin good). It's not that secondary is better than elementary that is far from how I feel. It's that it's not what I'm meant to do. Other people, like Liz, are meant to and by the way, we could use more Liz's.
If this school doesn't hire me, then fine. Depending on who else they choose.....their loss. If their better, good, then I only wanted what's best for the kids. If they keep it open longer then they're sending a clear message about how unimportant music is to their school regardless of how many positions they had to fill this year or how bad their luck has been in interviews, etc.
Time to go dry my tears and get some crap done. Sorry.
SECOND. Education. I worked my damn ASS off (actually it's still there, adding extra frustration from my first point) to be one of the best frickin band directors that I could be. I love it. I live for it. And I'm extremely disappointed that I can't be on the path I deserve to be on. Just typing that made tears pop out of eyes so fast that they hit the screen. I'm pissed. I'm really really pissed. I'm reflective and so a lot of times I try to reason with things. Everything happens for a reason, maybe I could work on this instead, it'll happen soon, etc. But when it comes down to it, I'm just plain old fucking mad. Why does the economy have to blow right now? Why do I have to care so much? Why can't I put my knowledge and passion to good use. My interview went pretty good, but I JUST DON'T KNOW! I'm so fucking sick of that. I feel really screwed either way. They aren't going to tell me until Monday. Thanks. Then your kids will have had 2 months without music essentially. I don't want to have to feel guilty for not being what they want. I want to teach BAND. A good band program. I deserve that. Again I am REALLY PISSED OFF. I've spent all summer and fall "trying to make the best of it" and it's just not FAIR. I guess that's the "ugly truth" about the world of education. The people who give a shit are far and few in between and aren't in any position to help.
You know, you try to take control of the situation and make progress towards your goals either way (subbing, moving to madison, interviewing for Leopold), but it doesn't fill the MAJOR void. I have been distracted more since starting to sub so much that I buried some of these feelings back down and as I drove home from school I just felt everything boiling back up. I just hate having to wonder "why me?" about so many things in my life. Money, love, weight, and the one thing that I REALLY work to control-my success as an educator. F-U world. I hope you young music major are prepared for this shit. Because if it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone. I didn't expect to land the dream job upon graduation, but I worked hard to at least be an outstanding candidate for all band jobs and should be in one of those positions. NOT subbing. Not teaching elementary music, though if it is where this shithole luck leads me then I will do the very best that I can do (which is frickin good). It's not that secondary is better than elementary that is far from how I feel. It's that it's not what I'm meant to do. Other people, like Liz, are meant to and by the way, we could use more Liz's.
If this school doesn't hire me, then fine. Depending on who else they choose.....their loss. If their better, good, then I only wanted what's best for the kids. If they keep it open longer then they're sending a clear message about how unimportant music is to their school regardless of how many positions they had to fill this year or how bad their luck has been in interviews, etc.
Time to go dry my tears and get some crap done. Sorry.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
I can show you the world...
Liz and I watched Aladdin last night while drinking with just the two of us. It was really fun. Truly, a new hobby. I realize that I haven't written since before convention and I'm sorry. Every time I get the energy to write, Liz writes a novel that already shares any half meaningful information about my life. Having a blog right now (as opposed to when I was younger), really highlights the fact that my life is going in directions that I never saw coming and is, in general, quite boring.
Convention was fun. We had a bunch of people staying here and I love to play host. It did however get old by the time the last people rolled out Sunday from Halloween. I can't believe how much convention costs when it's really not that impressive. I hope I can be one of the presenters some day. I went to only 2 sessions that I liked and did get to see some awesome concerts so I guess I won't complain. I went to a session on the drumset in big band charts. I was only one of like 15-20 people there and the only EC person. That's sort of disappointing. A lot of times in college (and now) I felt like the only person who wanted to teach secondary that realizes that a good teacher presents all genres of music equally. I am lucky to have strong interests in marching and jazz, but then small groups and other things should be available too. I feel like there aren't as many people graduating from UWEC that want to teach high school band, and those that are coming out aren't taking jazz band seriously. I was always bothered by people that say they want to teach high school and graduate and then get a job and they NEVER joined a jazz band. Especially if you went to UWEC, you are WASTING a major learning experience and REALLY letting your future students down. Rant. that being said, I also went to a session on swinging and such by the Sun Prairie jazz ensemble and I was really impressed, motivated, and driven to be like their band director. I liked how "real" he was with them. He had VERY high expectations, but was fun. Kids will want to meet your expectations if they trust your vision and learn to love challenges. I later watched their wind ensemble and was equally impressed by both the students and director. Knowing that they have a strong marching program, seeing their awesome jazz band, and then hearing their top-notch wind ensemble really reinforces my dreams and ideals that you CAN HAVE IT ALL. Can't wait to teach high school...
HOWEVER, that dream has certainly been derailed for this year hasn't it? I have even more news to share. I was unable to find a secondary band position for this year right? So I figured if I am going to sub, I might as well try a large district to stay busier and gain much needed experience in culture and diversity. It was a GREAT move. I have been staying busy every day, teaching music, and getting paid notably more. ($141 a day!). The only weird part is that I have been teaching mostly elementary and not only that, but the teachers were getting so comfortable having me that they we having me do my own lesson plans half the time. So in the back of my mind I've been sort of thinking, "What's the difference if I'm teaching an elem position or subbing for them every day? At least I'd know where I was going every day and I could learn the kids name, which helps classroom management." Back in early September, Julie Palkowski MMSD fine arts coordinator called me to interview for the .9 position that was open at Leopold. I thought about it and turned it down so that I could leave my schedule open to at least sub and help bands whenever I could. This was before I realized how much elementary music I would be doing. I accepted a sub position as soon as I saw it for Leopold last week because I was curious to see if they ever filled the position and MAYBE if I would like the school and other music teacher enough to call Julie back and see if I could change my mind a month and a half later on the interview.
They have been having a NON-MUSIC teacher there all year. It's mid-November! Now this teacher has also accepted a morning position as reading specialist so they have been hiring different short-term subs every morning and having her in the afternoons. That is just plain ridiculous. Especially because I know they have interviewed lots of people, including Tiller and K-Wood. I feel that having the kids basically not have a music teaching is extremely unfair and the kids deserve someone who will at least advocate for their needs and teach them SOME MUSIC. SO...I called Julie and we set up an interview for Monday morning and I'm already booked to sub there Tuesday-Friday full days. She likes Liz a lot and the fact that they called me before and I didn't even apply, makes me feel confident. Also that I already live here and have been to the school and subbed for some classes after which 2 SEA's went directly to the principal's office and told him to hire me. Knowing that my friends have interviewed and not-gotten it (for NO good reason, it's unknown I guess) makes me a little less confident. So we'll see. I'll update tomorrow after my interview or whenever they call me to let me know. They can't avoid me if I'm going to be IN their school all week.
To sort of backtrack, Halloween was a lot of fun. Had way too much to drink and feel sort of embarassed, but that's me so....whatever. The costumes were really fun and the only person I'm upset about not seeing was Yakkers. Don't act all excited on facebook for weeks and then not make a notable effort to see us dude! Makes us feel pathetic. Speaking of pathetic, I feel really single lately and that is never fun. Even watching Disney movies makes me jealous. I guess I just hoped that since my career wasn't moving in the direction I wanted this year that other aspects of my life just might. Apparently not. It sucks being 24 years old and wondering how many people question your sexuality or your effort or your personality even. I don't think I'm...well,I am picky, but it's subconscious. I just don't meet someone and evaulate their datability. That is starting to change here in Madison I guess though. I'm meeting more people than I am seeing people I already know so I'm finding myself being like, oh they're cute, let's find out what they think about education....then it fails when someone prettier lights up some other part of the room. I want I want I want...please?
Gonna go eat some foooooooooood. It's a nice lazy Saturday for us. Yesterday we only had to work the Badger game and today we NEED to work out, but otherwise it's TLC, chili, and the Biggest Loser Game on king.com. I'll try to write more. Comment to motivate the likelihood.
Convention was fun. We had a bunch of people staying here and I love to play host. It did however get old by the time the last people rolled out Sunday from Halloween. I can't believe how much convention costs when it's really not that impressive. I hope I can be one of the presenters some day. I went to only 2 sessions that I liked and did get to see some awesome concerts so I guess I won't complain. I went to a session on the drumset in big band charts. I was only one of like 15-20 people there and the only EC person. That's sort of disappointing. A lot of times in college (and now) I felt like the only person who wanted to teach secondary that realizes that a good teacher presents all genres of music equally. I am lucky to have strong interests in marching and jazz, but then small groups and other things should be available too. I feel like there aren't as many people graduating from UWEC that want to teach high school band, and those that are coming out aren't taking jazz band seriously. I was always bothered by people that say they want to teach high school and graduate and then get a job and they NEVER joined a jazz band. Especially if you went to UWEC, you are WASTING a major learning experience and REALLY letting your future students down. Rant. that being said, I also went to a session on swinging and such by the Sun Prairie jazz ensemble and I was really impressed, motivated, and driven to be like their band director. I liked how "real" he was with them. He had VERY high expectations, but was fun. Kids will want to meet your expectations if they trust your vision and learn to love challenges. I later watched their wind ensemble and was equally impressed by both the students and director. Knowing that they have a strong marching program, seeing their awesome jazz band, and then hearing their top-notch wind ensemble really reinforces my dreams and ideals that you CAN HAVE IT ALL. Can't wait to teach high school...
HOWEVER, that dream has certainly been derailed for this year hasn't it? I have even more news to share. I was unable to find a secondary band position for this year right? So I figured if I am going to sub, I might as well try a large district to stay busier and gain much needed experience in culture and diversity. It was a GREAT move. I have been staying busy every day, teaching music, and getting paid notably more. ($141 a day!). The only weird part is that I have been teaching mostly elementary and not only that, but the teachers were getting so comfortable having me that they we having me do my own lesson plans half the time. So in the back of my mind I've been sort of thinking, "What's the difference if I'm teaching an elem position or subbing for them every day? At least I'd know where I was going every day and I could learn the kids name, which helps classroom management." Back in early September, Julie Palkowski MMSD fine arts coordinator called me to interview for the .9 position that was open at Leopold. I thought about it and turned it down so that I could leave my schedule open to at least sub and help bands whenever I could. This was before I realized how much elementary music I would be doing. I accepted a sub position as soon as I saw it for Leopold last week because I was curious to see if they ever filled the position and MAYBE if I would like the school and other music teacher enough to call Julie back and see if I could change my mind a month and a half later on the interview.
They have been having a NON-MUSIC teacher there all year. It's mid-November! Now this teacher has also accepted a morning position as reading specialist so they have been hiring different short-term subs every morning and having her in the afternoons. That is just plain ridiculous. Especially because I know they have interviewed lots of people, including Tiller and K-Wood. I feel that having the kids basically not have a music teaching is extremely unfair and the kids deserve someone who will at least advocate for their needs and teach them SOME MUSIC. SO...I called Julie and we set up an interview for Monday morning and I'm already booked to sub there Tuesday-Friday full days. She likes Liz a lot and the fact that they called me before and I didn't even apply, makes me feel confident. Also that I already live here and have been to the school and subbed for some classes after which 2 SEA's went directly to the principal's office and told him to hire me. Knowing that my friends have interviewed and not-gotten it (for NO good reason, it's unknown I guess) makes me a little less confident. So we'll see. I'll update tomorrow after my interview or whenever they call me to let me know. They can't avoid me if I'm going to be IN their school all week.
To sort of backtrack, Halloween was a lot of fun. Had way too much to drink and feel sort of embarassed, but that's me so....whatever. The costumes were really fun and the only person I'm upset about not seeing was Yakkers. Don't act all excited on facebook for weeks and then not make a notable effort to see us dude! Makes us feel pathetic. Speaking of pathetic, I feel really single lately and that is never fun. Even watching Disney movies makes me jealous. I guess I just hoped that since my career wasn't moving in the direction I wanted this year that other aspects of my life just might. Apparently not. It sucks being 24 years old and wondering how many people question your sexuality or your effort or your personality even. I don't think I'm...well,I am picky, but it's subconscious. I just don't meet someone and evaulate their datability. That is starting to change here in Madison I guess though. I'm meeting more people than I am seeing people I already know so I'm finding myself being like, oh they're cute, let's find out what they think about education....then it fails when someone prettier lights up some other part of the room. I want I want I want...please?
Gonna go eat some foooooooooood. It's a nice lazy Saturday for us. Yesterday we only had to work the Badger game and today we NEED to work out, but otherwise it's TLC, chili, and the Biggest Loser Game on king.com. I'll try to write more. Comment to motivate the likelihood.
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